This is me.

20140805-123844-45524824.jpg I may have chubby cheeks. I may have a really big smile. I may have a big nose. I may have acne. And scars. I may not be perfectly tanned. But this is me. And I wouldn’t change It for the world. 🙂 I am happy with myself. Because I am beautiful. And you are too 🙂 no one is perfect. But no one is ugly either. You are worth so much.

Bored…… And Satisfied!

So I went out walking with my big brother and we went to go see a friend of my cousins at work. She gave us free food and smoothie! Because someone ordered it and left! God i love food! haha and i helped her out by bringing chairs in.oh some of my favorite pictures!

Choices

I am confused about my life. I have to do this or do that. I shouldn’t do this and I should do that. Choices are everything, and yet they can make you end up with nothing. They can be rewarding and yet disappointing. They can be good or bad. I choose to choose the positive side. I am tired of making the wrong moves. I am tired of the negative. I choose to put a smile on my face even though it feels like there is nothing to smile about at times. I choose to laugh and to love because I deserve it. I deserve the very best. And i won’t settle for less.

Freedom!

So I went to court today. It was supposed to be the last court date. But my father didn’t show. So they couldn’t close the case until next week. Plus I finally got the 40 dollars for my phone and found out that 40 was to reopen the line and 40 more to activate the number. so I am halfway there. Gosh I am pissed. But am glad it is almost there. Plus my aunt gave my freedom back today! Love her!

This Is your Life

1383617_10200435171793309_315265114_nI want you to know something. No matter what childhood you had or have, no matter who your parents are or what they have done to you, just know that your life is YOUR LIFE.they might have had an impact on your life but they can’t ruin everything for you. I always told people that my life sucks because my dad and step family screwed it up. but no. they may have robbed my childhood but my life does not suck. my life is just starting. So stop wallowing in your past.. Blaming it on your parents or your so called friends. Go live! Because trust me. there is always tomorrow and I am tired of people feeling sorry for me from what happened. I just want to be normal. Perfect. But i can’t be. So i try and try to be as close to perfection as i can. I used to want to control everything. Like my step-mom did. but i started to get depressed. because i couldn’t have everything my way. so i changed. i just go with the flow. it was hard at first. but then it got really fun. to just let go and be myself. i got this blog for a reason. it was to help others and to touch their hearts. To make a difference and put a tear in your eye. So i can stop crying. I am tired of being hurt. So i just stopped caring. or at least i tried. so please comment on this….. about anything……. you might think i am jsut a kid and that i can’t help you. but trust me, i was forced to grow up. if you need help with anything just please tell me. because i want to make a different impact. not the one that was left on me.

Church Today

so i haven’t shed a tear since like the last month of school. But this really pretty song came on in church called.. This Is The Air I Breath. the words are amazing and they made me think about the things in my past. these are the lyrics

this is the air I breathe

This is the air I breathe
Your Holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me

And I, I’m desperate for You
And I, I’m lost without You

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your Holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me

And I, I’m desperate for You

And I, I’m lost without You
And I, I’m desperate for You
And I, I’m lost without You

I’m lost without You
I’m lost without You
I’m desperate for You
Cry out to Him

I’m desperate for You
Cry out to You
I’m desperate for You
Well I’m lost without You now

I’m desperate for You
I’m desperate for You
I’m lost, I’m lost, I’m lost without You Lord
Yea, I’m lost without You

I’m lost without You
I’m lost without You
I’m desperate for You

How many of you are hungry for God?
Are you hungry for Him?
I want more of Him, who wants the flood gates to open up?

 

People are Stupid.

So this guy like spreads rumors about me…. calling me the Walking STD even though I am a virgin….. and then he gets his buddy to tell me that he likes me??????? are guys naturally that stupid? because trust me no one likes that. So yeah try again buddy.

hahaha

okay so i was having a convo with this dude about how i am single and always will be….. here is our conversation

him- Make a gay guy bi. My friend bubbles did it
bubbles??? is that a girl or a boy?

.-. That was the stupidest question ever… if bubbles made a gay guy bi, what gender is bubbles?
ummm a cow???

MY FAMILY! <3

So I have now lived with my Aunt and Uncle for about a year. I know i have been a pain in the butt. And i am still surprised how they could put up with me. I love them with all my heart. Every time i turn down the wrong path they are always there to point me the right way. they have always been there for me… every time   my father would fight with my step mom he would bring me to her house… and no matter what day or time she was there. she never complained or turned me down…. she would always take care of me my brother and my sister. even though i fought with her kids a lot and i stole Megan’s Jonas’ Brothers poster.. (or so she says :P) apparently i stole a lot of stuff…. but still they all loved me and treated me like i was their family. i would remember hearing the phone ring and every time i was scared that it was my dad calling her telling her that he was coming to pick us kids up. and whenever he did call i remember my aunt telling me it was going to be okay and she would pray for me. now that i am here for good i am sooo grateful. yes i had my problems but i am working them out and i hope they could see how much i want to help them and thank them for everything they ever did for me. I am trying my best to be perfect. And I want to thank my aunt and uncle for saving me. and my crazy cousins for accepting me into their lives 🙂 i love you guys!